I wanted to reread Old Testament books and stories, because in my life the Psalms, Proverbs, and New Testament are all I rely on. I have seen a lot of Christians be changed, comforted, and more wise because of their knowledge of the old testament and the way God worked.
I picked up my Message bible to try to read the stories in more of a story format.
Thought I would just start with Job. So i started reading and dove in really quick, and now find that I can't get through it because these first couple chapters have ignited so many questions. So I thought I'd log them!
Reading Job 1-2 will clear your mental box that God is all loving and loves only through blessings. It's easy to think of God as love love love and forget about the just part, or the selfish part.
Job has an awesome life, and he is really close to God. Satan comes to God and says let me mess with Job, and God says: oh ok! Just don't kill him.
- My first thought/prayer right when i read that was WHAT how about ok God if you're going to take me through that, how about you let me also just die!
Job 5:8-11
8 “But if I were you, I would appeal to God;
I would lay my cause before him.
9 He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed,
miracles that cannot be counted.
10 He provides rain for the earth;
he sends water on the countryside.
11 The lowly he sets on high,
and those who mourn are lifted to safety.
My only question here is: Who is the "I"?
Reading this gave be such comfort. I love the idea of the rain taking care of the deepest root. It's a great picture of the way God brings lowly things to the top. God does this with me weekly. He has to constantly remind me of my value in Him, and that I am always enough. But I love that in this passage the person goes on to say that God loves those that mourn. We are supposed to cry out. We are supposed to recognize pain and discomfort, and we are supposed to tell God. We are to go straight to Him, the source, for our solution.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Sunday, August 14, 2011
I think, finally, I know what community looks like
I think I've found community. I think, finally, I know what community looks like.
It is actually really weird because I have not hung out with these people 1,000 times and they have not done anything over the top to change my life, but for the first time I sensed community.
First, what that looks like in my heart/life is a sense of equality. Ben and I were sharing last night that everyone in the groups thinks everyone is equally funny. There's not an awkward person that everyone wishes they would stop talking, before they start. It's easy to consider the interests of others (Phil 4:2) because we care for the interests of the other people.
Next, I felt a sense of community through our like-mindedness, and similar life experiences. Have you ever met those people that you just want to be like, but think you'll never be as perfect or as good as they are? ... I don't think those people are community, because they don't allow people to see their imperfections. The truth is, those people are not perfect, they just do a really great job at making you think they are. I got this feeling of "these people are real and really understand what I'm saying" last night during dinner at their house. They were telling a story about a girl who did not like birds, and I said "Oh yeah, that is this girl". I can't stand birds. I think they're disgusting disease carriers, and worse, I have been pooped on before. Gross! I asked if they had even been pooped on and two of them said yes! I was so relieved to hear that funny but gross/embarrassing things happen to other people besides me! Their stories were worse than mine too. They had been pooped on their face and other other in their hair, I was just got it on my leg. Hearing their story, I felt a strange, sinking comfortable feeling. That moment allowed me to sense and see that I can have real community.
Also, I have never felt more comfortable around people, in someone else's house, as I have in theirs. There is nothing that is off the table to talk about, no one around the table is there to judge or make fun, and best of all, they laugh all the time. Sometimes I have the problem of saying something or asking a question that is too personal for someone else. These people go straight there. They want to know about my life and my story, because it is important to them, and they know it is important to God. So they ask the questions that are hard to answer, and they listen to the answer when I can finally give it. They allow me to do the same when asking about their history or current decisions. That has helped me to not feel like I'm being too abrasive or confrontational, because they approach people and life in the same way I do.
Finally, I think my favorite part about this group is our differences. We are made up of two couples and 4 kids. Me, my boyfriend Ben, Shane, Sofie, Sydney, Sabrina, Travis, and Scarlett. Shane and Sofie have 4 kids, and a lot of years of experience in life. They are willingly and happily pouring into Ben and me. They are equally thankful for us and our friendship to them. The biggest and only difference I can see in us at this point, is Shane and Sofie's years of wisdom that they have to teach us.
I am excited to learn what God has for them to teach, and look forward to the next year of ups and downs. I am excited for something to happen that will make us closer. Hopefully that something is a good thing, but if it is not, I know they will be there for us, or we will be there for them.
Thank you God for amazing, incredible friends. Thank you God for answering prayers. I have been praying for community to be obvious and accountability in a rare form to show up, and you didn't take long before you gave us people that we wouldn't want to miss! Thank you for providing people I can be honest and vulnerable with, without being rejected. God you are so so good. I am so so glad.
It is actually really weird because I have not hung out with these people 1,000 times and they have not done anything over the top to change my life, but for the first time I sensed community.
First, what that looks like in my heart/life is a sense of equality. Ben and I were sharing last night that everyone in the groups thinks everyone is equally funny. There's not an awkward person that everyone wishes they would stop talking, before they start. It's easy to consider the interests of others (Phil 4:2) because we care for the interests of the other people.
Next, I felt a sense of community through our like-mindedness, and similar life experiences. Have you ever met those people that you just want to be like, but think you'll never be as perfect or as good as they are? ... I don't think those people are community, because they don't allow people to see their imperfections. The truth is, those people are not perfect, they just do a really great job at making you think they are. I got this feeling of "these people are real and really understand what I'm saying" last night during dinner at their house. They were telling a story about a girl who did not like birds, and I said "Oh yeah, that is this girl". I can't stand birds. I think they're disgusting disease carriers, and worse, I have been pooped on before. Gross! I asked if they had even been pooped on and two of them said yes! I was so relieved to hear that funny but gross/embarrassing things happen to other people besides me! Their stories were worse than mine too. They had been pooped on their face and other other in their hair, I was just got it on my leg. Hearing their story, I felt a strange, sinking comfortable feeling. That moment allowed me to sense and see that I can have real community.
Also, I have never felt more comfortable around people, in someone else's house, as I have in theirs. There is nothing that is off the table to talk about, no one around the table is there to judge or make fun, and best of all, they laugh all the time. Sometimes I have the problem of saying something or asking a question that is too personal for someone else. These people go straight there. They want to know about my life and my story, because it is important to them, and they know it is important to God. So they ask the questions that are hard to answer, and they listen to the answer when I can finally give it. They allow me to do the same when asking about their history or current decisions. That has helped me to not feel like I'm being too abrasive or confrontational, because they approach people and life in the same way I do.
Finally, I think my favorite part about this group is our differences. We are made up of two couples and 4 kids. Me, my boyfriend Ben, Shane, Sofie, Sydney, Sabrina, Travis, and Scarlett. Shane and Sofie have 4 kids, and a lot of years of experience in life. They are willingly and happily pouring into Ben and me. They are equally thankful for us and our friendship to them. The biggest and only difference I can see in us at this point, is Shane and Sofie's years of wisdom that they have to teach us.
I am excited to learn what God has for them to teach, and look forward to the next year of ups and downs. I am excited for something to happen that will make us closer. Hopefully that something is a good thing, but if it is not, I know they will be there for us, or we will be there for them.
Thank you God for amazing, incredible friends. Thank you God for answering prayers. I have been praying for community to be obvious and accountability in a rare form to show up, and you didn't take long before you gave us people that we wouldn't want to miss! Thank you for providing people I can be honest and vulnerable with, without being rejected. God you are so so good. I am so so glad.
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