Interview about marriage

In my last counseling session, I was asking my counselor what her married couples tell her about marriage. I asked what's usually hard and what's usually good? She shared a little with me and then told me I should interview women and maybe men that I know. I should ask them about their marriage and about their experiences.
It seems simple. If you want wisdom, seek it. Seek it where? Maybe in the wise women around me.

So I talked with two women today. One married for many many years and the other just recently remarried and in her second marriage. I asked them to talk with me about marriage and love and relationships. To tell me what ever they thought I should know or what they wished they had known when they were 22. I took notes (which seemed kind of weird) but I think there's value in recording what could be valuable.

Here's what I wrote:

*Be aware of their upbringing. If their upbringing is different from yours, will you be willing to accommodate through those engrained differences?

*Guys, a lot of times, treat women like their fathers treat their mothers.

*Guys don't like a nagging wife. (I thought this one was obvious, but if it would obvious I'm sure there would be less nagging women)

*There's something to be said about the way a man treats his mom.

*Pick your battles. What will matter in the long run? What really matters to you?

*Learn the best way to approach conflict.

*Grace is huge in a marriage. (I thought this was an obvious one too... but I would guess easier said than done).

*There will be days you won't like him but you force yourself to keep going. Maybe that means forcing yourself to sleep with him.

*When dating, don't look for the knight in shining armor. If you're the woman than needs a rescuer than you need to work on you before you step into a relationship. It's not any man's job or even ability to save you from yourself. Your "perfect man" will emerge in your relationship. Through your marriage and becoming friends, you'll find the knight you dreamed of.

*Before finding "him", get to the point where you respect and love yourself. You have to know what you deserve, and stand for it. "If he's calling you at 2am, that just means he couldn't find a different girl at the bar he just came home from."

*Be aware of what you're dating to find. Is it chemistry and a good kisser? Or is it things that will last through the hard times when chemistry is lost.

--I don't know if I agree or disagree with these women in ALL things they said, but it's valuable enough to me that they sat with me and shared their stories.